General information about things that Nicholas Hay knows about.

New Paintings

nicholashay — Sat, 21 Jan 2012 19:52:53 +0000

More adventures of The Horny Neighborhood Kids

nicholashay — Thu, 12 Jan 2012 01:37:36 +0000

These are some of the horny neighborhood kids that hang out behind the building at night. They are thinking of starting a fucking badass gang but they haven’t figured out a name yet.

This dude’s fucking name is Steve Stevens. He likes to fucking get high on Friday afternoons and go swimming. He also likes to eat Macaroni & Cheese with Spam. I always tell him that that shit is too salty and that he will probably pay for it later on in life, but honestly, I am not sure if he really gives two fucks about what I say. This dude is the fucking leader of the, as of yet, unnamed gang. Everyone always says that this mother fucker stabbed some dude this one time for no fucking reason at all. That is pretty fucking cool.

This is Jeff and Tina. All they do is fucking argue and fuck. Everyone says that one time Tina got finger-fucked by Steve Steven’s in some fucking random ass dude’s pool. The problem is that Jeff don’t even fucking know how to swim so whenever the unnamed gang goes for a fucking dip then Jeff has to sit on the fucking side and twiddle his thumbs like some fucking extinct chumpasauras. I guess it is his own fucking fault cause who the fuck don’t know how to swim when they are like 16 1/2 fucking years old?

This is Kick. He is Tina older step brother. He got knocked in the head when he was littler. Most folks think that he is a little bit retarded from it but he is a good guy. He always gots the other dudes backs when some bad shit goes down.

This is Razor. He is Kick’s fucking mangy dog. Kick found him when Razor was just a pup and the two have been together ever since. Steve Steven’s fucking ran over Razor’s back legs one time when he was high and riding his fucking dirt bike in Tina’s step dad’s backyard. It was fucking crazy. Then Kick got fucking pissed and tackled Steven Steven’s WHILE Steve was going in like a 35mph fucking donut. Steve Steven’s burned the shit out of his fucking leg on his muffle because it was right after swimming and Steve Steven’s didn’t have no long pants on. Anyways, Razor’s back legs don’t work so well so now Razor’s balls drag on the ground.

The fucking new party zone.

nicholashay — Wed, 11 Jan 2012 02:14:47 +0000

I am in the process of converting the old #368 studio into a fucking super badass mega fucking party zone that is going to be so fucking cool. It will probably get nicknamed “The Factory of Cool”. If it doesn’t, well, that is fucking cool also. It will be a safe haven for all kinds of illegal cool shit. When it is finished you will just be able to come hang out and do whatever you want and not have to worry about some mother fuckers tell you not to shit there. YOU WILL BE ABLE TO SHIT WHEREVER YOU FUCKING THINK YOU NEED TO. It will probably get nicknamed “The Factory of Shit” at some point after everyone realizes that it isn’t very cool to call something “The Factory of Cool” and that self-degradation is the only fucking cool thing left. It will also be a cool place to come and meet Janitors and do fucked up shit with cleaning supplies. There is going to be music and people hammering shit and the soda will fucking flow like the fucking Boulder Creek. Tell your fucking friends to wait by their emailers for their fucking cool-ass invite. (Note: if you don’t get an invite then don’t fucking bother showing up (sorry (we are trying to maintain a certain ambiance (you understand (right?)))))

NO, THANK YOU!!!

Kicking the can down the same old dirt road.

nicholashay — Tue, 10 Jan 2012 18:58:38 +0000

I made a painting that looks like a pop tart.

nicholashay — Thu, 29 Dec 2011 00:14:56 +0000

Today I was playing with an airbrush to see how it works and I made this big painting that looks like a fucking pop-tart. I still have some more airbrushing to go. It is going to be sweet as frosty when I am done. It also might look like dogshit. That is the game that I play on a daily basis. Also, the other day on the bus, I saw this drunk guy that had shit his pants. I knew that he had shit his pants because some of the shit rolled out of his pants as he was getting off of the bus. He dropped his gloves and I let him know. So he bent over to pick them up and then he dropped his toothbrush. I told him he dropped his fucking toothbrush and so he picked it up. That is when the shit rolled out. I guess not everyone in Boulder has such an easy fucking life. After that guy got off of the bus I told the bus driver that there was shit on the floor. Then some other dude walked onto the bus and sat down where the drunk guy had been sitting. He sat right down in a previous man’s shit. I tried to tell that dude that he was about to sit in shit but he had his ipod on so he couldn’t hear me. A vicious fucking shit circle. The times are still fucking tough, I guess. They’ll probably never get better. That’s why I got to make some more sweet pop-tart paintings. I got to cheer some motherfuckers up.

A fucking real-life pop-tart.

Images from end of the first semester.

nicholashay — Thu, 15 Dec 2011 17:04:07 +0000

Free Drawing.

nicholashay — Thu, 06 Oct 2011 20:17:31 +0000

More of the new and more of the old and more of the fun.

nicholashay — Fri, 23 Sep 2011 23:56:08 +0000

Old shit sometimes smells different in new places.

nicholashay — Sat, 10 Sep 2011 23:27:53 +0000

New shit from new places that you didn’t expect shit to come from.

nicholashay — Mon, 05 Sep 2011 22:12:13 +0000

These are some images of different stuff that I have been working on as I settle into my new studio – not really the finished work, but images of the bits and pieces.

This is it. About as fucking official as you can get. It’s Braille for all of the blind folks that want to come do a studio visit with me. Hopefully they don’t touch my fucking work because it isn’t in braille yet so it won’t really make very much sense. Don’t worry, blind folks, come visit me and I will describe my shit to you.

Someone gave me a shit load of plastic because they want me to get my deposit back when I leave. I really fucking appreciate that gesture.

I even have my own thermostat in my studio.

Through the process of making a fucking mess I have identified key areas to place that plastic in the future.