General information about things that Nicholas Hay knows about.

Into the mystic with commentary.

Posted in Adventures by nicholashay on November 14, 2009

Yuko and I spent a few hours at the zoo today and it was a lot of fun except there was a lot of fucking people.  They were also giving away some new Snapple drink so Yuko and I got some.  We haven’t tried them yet but when we do I will post a review.  Also, one of my windshield wiper motors went out and that fucking sucks.


Yuko is the wildest of all the animals in the kingdom.  Here she is with some free Snapple drinks.  Thanks Snapple.


Flamingos.  For those of you that don’t know, flamingos are the carrot of the zoo world.  Whenever another animal dies or something they fill the empty cage with flamingos.  Also, every time that I go to the zoo someone tells me that the reason flamingos are pink is because of their diet.  Thank you to all of the the fucking people that have told me this, but I know so stop telling me.  I really don’t give a shit why flamingos are pink.


Black bears.  The most dangerous of all bears probably.  This is the first in a series of images where the animal is totally ignoring me and the other people that are screaming: “hey, [animal name] look this way so I can get a better fucking picture”.  Some people just screamed: “hey bear, bear, bear, hey bear, bear”.  It was pretty annoying.


Some fish and a snapping turtle.


This guy is named Fred and he was incredibly helpful toward me and Yuko during our underwater safari.  Actually I think that he sort of liked Yuko a little bit and I had to tell him to back the fuck up.


This is me after the larvae stage.


Black panther sitting around.


An orange plant.  Yuko ate one of the little orange pods and got really fucking high for like an hour.  It was really funny.


Every time we go to the zoo these hippos are always in this exact same position.


Crocodile or alligator.  I forget which is which.  Maybe one of the people that know all about the flamingo diet could tell me the difference between the crocodile and the alligator.



Green snake.  Not really that exciting.


Some kind of deer.


Yuko was barking at the deer.  She was still pretty high from eating the orange flower thing.




Smaller deer.


Okapi.  The coolest of all animals.


Zoo pigeons.  They differ from the regular pigeons because zoo pigeons cost $50,000 a piece and therefore cannot be eaten.


Zoo bushes.




Caiman.  The stupidest looking of all animals.


This sort of looked like a cartoon when I saw it.


More flamingos.


The water was a little dirty in the eagle cage.


The majestic american bald eagle.


I have no idea what kind of animal this was.  I think that it was a bird, but it was licking its balls the whole time so I couldn’t see it’s face.


A snake that we got to touch.  The zoo keeper said that it was extremely venomous and that I was incredibly brave for touching it.  Yuko didn’t want to touch it because she wasn’t brave enough.  Yuko also messed up the picture and so I have no proof of my courage.


This is me either before or after touching the venomous snake.  Yuko was focusing on my stupid face because she feared for my life.  I had no fear what so ever.


This is a really ugly goat/sheep/llama mutant that they keep locked up in the back.  No one ever cares about looking at it but Yuko fucking loves it.



I think they went to the same middle school.



Yuko loves this little door stop.  She always gets scared when we first see it because she thinks that it is a real animal.


Another girl with a snake.  This one wasn’t nearly as dangerous and therefor I could prove nothing by touching it.


Prairie doggin’ it.  Yuko loves prairie dogs more than anything in the world.


6 Responses

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  1. Nicolas Savage said, on November 14, 2009 at 5:47 pm

    Zoo entry has been your best entry

    • nicholashay said, on November 14, 2009 at 5:57 pm

      Thanks Nick. I am glad that at least one person likes my blog. It makes it all worth while.

  2. Barbara Justice said, on November 14, 2009 at 6:32 pm

    Nick those zoo pictures are really beautiful and inspiring. I was shocked at your snake courage. Flamingos are pink because of their diet.

  3. nicholashay said, on November 14, 2009 at 11:40 pm

    Thanks Barbara. I really appreciate your support.

  4. your best friend rand said, on November 16, 2009 at 11:52 am

    that was the funniest thing i have read since the year 1997 happened.
    seriously, it was really great.

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