General information about things that Nicholas Hay knows about.

Yuko’s first visit to Gardenridge Pottery

Posted in Adventures by nicholashay on January 26, 2010

Yuko and I though that we would go to Garden Ridge pottery for fun one day about a month ago.  She had never been and I hadn’t been in a really fucking long time.  It seemed like it was a pretty fucking cool place when I used to go with my family.  But back then I used to think that “Whoop There It Is” was a pretty fucking badass song so I guess that some shit changes over time.  Garden Ridge pottery fucking changed over time.  It fucking nose-dived into an empty swimming pool and now it is paralyzed from the waist down.  Sorry for Garden Ridge, but more importantly, sorry for America.  Ohh well, fuck it.

It was a fucking beautiful day to be an American.


We saw this shit at Garden Ridge, but I didn’t see anyone taking or giving blood.  I wish I had.  That would have been some fucking badass journalism.  Frederick Wiseman kills for that shit.


Yuko was so excited that she could hardly contain her shit.  I was excited for her – sort of.  I already knew that the place fucking sucked, and I noticed that a Wal-Mart opened up right next door that would end up slaughtering Garden ridge like a baby dolphin, but Yuko fucking loves crafts and she fucking loves Garden Ridge.


So much beauty in this world isn’t real.  Garden Ridge fucking taught me that.


Our trip took place shortly before Christmas.


When I was a kid I remember there being a lot more bullshit at Garden Ridge but during our visit at least half of the fucking store looked like it had been recently looted.


This is the shit that no one wanted to steal.  The bad thing is that if no one buys this crap than it is just going to go into a fucking landfill.  Then everyone fucking loses, including Christmas.


Tinsel Watt’s Towers replica.


For some reason this was the first, but not the last, Jim Morrison painting that we would see this particular evening.


I wasn’t really sure what to call this.


Or this little guy.



If you want more than one of the same fucking thing than Garden Ridge is the fucking place for you.


Just when I thought that the fucking party was over I realized that it was only halfway over.  We still had to go look at all of the fucking furniture.


So much fucking furniture.


And a Dan Flavin installation.  I thought that this was pretty fucking cool.


When me and my brothers were younger we would always jump around on these fucking mattresses and everyone would fucking yell at us.


Yuko had so much fun that she started to fucking vomit everywhere.  It was so awesome.


After Garden Ridge we went to Sears because America wasn’t quite dead yet.


Sears fucking sucked.  Christmas or not.


And finally another fucking badass Jim Morrison painting.  Why don’t we learn these fucking techniques in art school.  Maybe Garden Ridge should take a cue from Jim Morrison and be more fucking badass.  Get some fucking merchandise Garden Ridge.  Don’t let those fuckheads over at Wal-Mart have the last fucking word.  Use all of your fucking flammable christmas decorations and build a bomb or something and murder those fucking America-haters.

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2 Responses

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  1. Beth S. said, on January 26, 2010 at 3:08 pm

    Some of these photos look like the beginning of an awesome photo essay on American excess or American mediocrity, or both…..

    Always enjoy your take on things, Nick.

    Regards,
    Beth

  2. Eric said, on March 9, 2010 at 12:39 am

    I only believe when the adhesive gold glitter is applied as directed.


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