General information about things that Nicholas Hay knows about.

Happy Jubilee, Queen!!!

Posted in Uncategorized by nicholashay on June 2, 2012

Well, you fucking did it, you old silver fox.  I always knew you could.  This shit is Diamond, the big times.  Hell, you’ve almost caught up with that slimy old cunt Victoria.  Fuck her and the fucking wack ass horse she rode in on. Well, I just wanted to let you know how much I fucking love your sparkly old ass and how god-damn proud I fucking am of you.  May you not be overthrown for 69 more years… or at least until the old “shitting the bejeweled dresses” routine starts up.  Then it is time to go, muh-lady.  Into the castle dungeon with all the other droolers.  You’ll probably get whipped with the metal hanger for being bad.  Might get water boarded too.  I think they still do that shit.

Anyways, I hope you get royally fucked up.  Oops, no pun intended.  I know how you Brits love those things.  Honestly, I don’t even really fucking know what one is.  I think I just heard that shit on a Peter Sellers movie.  It sounded fucking smart.  But seriously, get really fucked up.  You got nothing else to lose.  Just don’t fuck an American or suck his D or anything.  You don’t want to lose your shit like Uncle Eddy did.

Also, sorry for not being a British subject anymore but you can always come and take us back.  Psych!!  Well, I guess you could try but you’ll probably get a double-tap to the forehead by Seal Team Six.  Hell, I guess it’s worth a shot.  Oops, I think I fucking punned again.  But seriously, you got a lot to live for.  The Olympics are coming.  Another chance to get fucking trashed again.  Do some coke with Olympians.  Smoke some weed and chill in an Olympic pool – not some lame ass “Olympic Sized” but the real fucking deal.  Honestly, just between hombres, I’d piss in that shit just to say I did it.  But remember, don’t fuck any of the American’s no matter how much better they are at dancing than the British athletes.  They got flesh eating bacteria and shit.

Way to go, dawg!!!  When is the fucking Cherries Jubilee?  That one is going to be good as hell.  Sticky as a mother fucker too, probably.  Let me know if you are ever in San Antonio in the next couple of weeks.  Just don’t come on a day that the Spurs are playing.  No one will give two fucks about your ass.  Some people just can’t appreciate the finer shits in this life.  Anyways, one love, get nasty mama!!!!

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